A Woman was suffering guilt, shame, and regret from the sins she committed before she started recovery. The self-loathing, and the negative self-talk were taking over her days, leading her to a toxic place where her physical health was deteriorating. Several Doctors found nothing wrong with her physically, but an astute healer told her about a Monk who lived in a Cave in South America known for leading people towards enlightenment and serenity with unfathomable success. Having tried everything else, the woman felt if there was even a chance, she was going to go find him and see what he could do. She desperately tracked him down, and trekked up the mountain to his cliff side monastery.
Upon Arriving, she was asked to check all of her worldly belonging, and led to a damp, dark cave with a single bamboo mattress and a candle. She was told to clear her mind and begin meditating, and the Monk would be in at some time in the afternoon. As she tried to meditate, her thoughts got louder. Her resentments played over and over in her head, the regret chimed in once in a while, and the pain she had caused others on her worst days shone like movies in her mind’s eye. Though she tried with all her might to follow the instructions while waiting, and though she kept telling herself to focus, breathe and quite her mind, she could not.
A expressionless Monk finally arrived. He said nothing, just looked at her. She started, “I am so full of pain. I feel I am becoming so consumed with toxic thinking that my body is deteriorating, the guilt and shame …I need your help please. I need the enlightenment that leads to serenity.
I just want it to stop, I want to be free.” Without a word, the Monk took a large stick from his cloak, and began beating the woman over the head until she blead. Then he turned and left. Confused the Woman felt that he must see what she really is, and she must deserve the pain and anger. She agreed too much damage had been done, and she would never find peace and sanity.
The next morning the Monk showed up again. He just stared at her as she spoke,” I know I deserved that beating. I am a bad person, I have created so much pain to others, and I can never be free of those memories or my past. I have such regret. Please help me find what I seek. I just need the tools to reach enlightenment and serenity where I can finally let this negativity go finally. I’m desperate” The Monk took out his big stick, and began beating her about the head harder and creating even more pain. With that, he turned and left. Again, feeling that she deserved his help, and he must see that she is a horrible person not worthy of forgiveness or respite. It seemed of no use to stay, but having come this far she decided one more day would make it certain.
The next morning The Monk arrived, and the cycle started again. She began, “I came all the way here Sir to find the one person they say can heal you, bring you enlightenment, allow you to unload that which makes you sick, depressed, hopeless and so in pain that I cannot bear it much longer.” The Monk took out his stick, but this time, by instinct and subconsciously, she raised her hand above her head stopping the stick in mid air. The Monk retracte the stick and broke it in half.As he walked away he said, “Now you have found enlightenment, you have stopped your own pain.”